But the desk didn’t do anything to you, did it?

• +..beautiful guitar


• +..
  
• +.. soundscape

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Pt: I talked to Jennifer on the phone and told her I thought we could still work things out between us. I asked her if I could come over to her place and talk things out, but she said, “Don’t even think of it. I don’t ever want to see you again.” But I figured, “Hey, if we don’t talk this through, we can’t ever work this out.” So I drove over to her place and went up to the door and pushed the doorbell. She comes to the front door, opens it, curses at me, throws a glass of water on me, and then tells me to get the hell out of her life. Can you believethat?” [Defense: denial in deed. Rather than face this sad reality, the patient acts as if this is not reality.] Th: You visited a woman who said she didn’t want to see you again. [Point out the denial in fantasy.] Pt: But how are we going to work this out? [Denial per se.] Th: I want to work things out with a woman who doesn’t want to work things out with me. [Point out the denial in fantasy.] Pt: But shouldn’t we be able to work things out? [Defense: denial in fantasy.] Th: Shouldn’t reality be different from what reality is? [Mirror the patient’s denial in fantasy.] Pt: Shouldn’t it? [Defense: denial in fantasy.] Th: No. Reality is what it is, but you act as if Jennifer wants to work things out when in reality she doesn’t want to. And when you act as if you can ignore reality, you get hurt and set yourself up for more punishment. Don’t get me wrong. You can keep on acting as if reality doesn’t exist, but we shouldn’t be surprised when reality shows up. Pt: [Chuckles.] That’s true.
Jon, Frederickson.